The Rage Of Brett's Angry Journal

1:41pm: Plans get complex
I fell into a pretty sweet sounding job this weekend. It was a job as a camp counselor for kids, and I was going to be staying there and working it for a month with a few friends and lots of new peoples. A month seemed like a long ass time, but I would make a few bucks and be outdoors doing shits.

Unfortunately, my mother's brother passed away last night. He was a pretty terrible individual, but my grandparents had been taking care of him, and allowing him to live with them. They got into a fight and he left the house and died last night. He was a drug addict and an alcoholic, and constantly would say he was going to kill himself when upset. My grandparents will have a large burden off of them, but they are still distraught. I can't imagine losing a brother or a son, even if I didn't particularly like them. I don't really know how to deal with close deaths. This is only the second family member that I have had die. The first was my dad's father, and he was a pretty old man for most of my memory. I didn't really get too close to him because of that, but it was still a pretty intense ceremony and death. Even this death of my uncle has gotten to me. I guess it is some little bit of instinct that kicks in whenever the realization of mortality hits. I didn't love the man, but I do love my family that is distraught, and it gets my thoughts rolling about normally ignored bits of humanity. I thought my initial dilemma with understanding why I was confused at my grandfather's passing was only because of my age. I think the strange comprehension and confusion that a close death brings will remain the same for many years to come. I guess it just feels like I am hardwired to feel strange upon the realization that we pass away.

Anyhow, I am now off to my grandparents. I haven't seen them in a very long time, and it saddens me that it takes this type of an event to get me up there and visiting them.

6:48am: World has ended
The Canadian dollar (or loonie if you are a gay Canuck) is now worth more than the American dollar.

All Americans should either move out of the country or kill themselves.

2:27am: Long time
Loads of happening things lately.

-Virginia
-Tokyo
-Back to Virgina
-Drove home to Sterling Heights
-Drove to northern Michigan
-Back to Sterling Heights
-Drove to Savannah

Sweet deals.

1:36am: Dustin made me do it
Well, I figure why the hell not. Is Stephen Colbert possibly the Greatest Living American?

4:16am: Dang eyeballs
Israel ruined my eyeball.It's starting to look like this now. Not really sure how it works...we've both been sick but we don't swap eyeball ooze. Nor does either of us think it is viral. Strange happenings, perhaps the doctors visit my mom has been pushing for should happen sooner instead of later.

6:49pm: HOhoHO
Guess there must be a reason I don't own a digital camera and never have.

Today I went for Ian's photoshoot portrait thingy because he's a pretty amazing photographer and I thought it would be cool to both help him and and see a picture of myself. He is asking the people ahead of me to breathe deeply or whatever and I didn't really know why. So I go and he explains he wants me to breath deeply like the moment you just hear some bad news. Afterwards he's like "wow, that was it you got it...." (or something close enough) and he starts preparing for the next person. As I'm getting ready to go though, he asks me if everything is alright, sounding quite concerned.

Suppose cameras are revealing. Anyhow, looking forward to seeing the pictures he takes. Hope the one of me comes out also.

10:52am: Well, the academic advising/bursar escapade didn't go too well. I would get 350 bucks back from my art history class if I was to drop it, which would kind of be a step backwards in actually making money. So Monday has already been a bust and its only quarter to 11. Sunday was already a bust thanks to SCAD also. They kindly changed their check out policy for equipment so that you can no longer same day check out anything. I imagine this is to make it more likely someone is to get fined in the event they cannot pick it up on time. More than likely something will come up and I won't get it checked out tonight on time and they'll fine me, or something stupid.

Anyhow, I need to tell my work that "Oh, by the way....the days I said I could work....were a lie." Although, I think I'm skipping my Tuesday art history since I'm scheduled at 4:00 and won't get out of class until 4:30. Also, I have in general been feeling pretty cruddy. Some kind of cold has been going around our house, my toe is seemingly more broken than it was a week ago, I've been getting double the sleep I normally do yet more tired than ever, and I don't feel inclined to go out and see people.

At least my academic advisor is quite pleased with how I've managed my course selection up to date, and next year is 60% electives.

Menomena - Wet and Rusting is a song I just heard yesterday that was the free one you can download with the new winamp. I thought it was enjoyable, and worth a listen. Plus winamp is great still and if they included it it's completely worth a listen.

12:45pm: Rough start so far this semester. Don't think I'm going to get things to pan out like I want on Monday with SCAD since I want/need to drop a class. Partly my fault I hesitated on what I was going to do, but I didn't have a big time frame at all to figure out how I was going to get my work schedule to fit with my school schedule. It made it difficult. I'm now working at Tantra Lounge on Broughton, and think it'll be a pretty awesome job. I just need to eliminate my art history class so I can continue to work there.

This past weekend I also hung out with two of the band members of Guster for a good portion of the night. I was pretty much like a 10 year old school girl around them and both myself and the people with me thought it was funny. I didn't really care though. They were the first "real" concert I went to back when I was 12. It was just me and my aunt in some tiny ass college hall that had probably less than 100 people in it. I was pretty poor my senior spring break so my friend and I took a road trip to North Carolina and stopped to see Guster for a day, and that was the highlight of my Spring break. Basically it was pretty awesome to hang out with them, even if I was a little gay fanboy.

Also, I gotta tell someone I like as a friend that I don't want to date them. I'm not sure why I just can't. That will be poopy.

Could discuss other things but instead....music.
Gogol Bordello - Oh No

6:01am: These Days
It's amazing how much trouble I have coming up with ideas. Yet there are so many times I just want to turn my head off for a few minutes. Specifically for sleep.

In the meantime, I give you the following.


Astronautalis - A Love Song for Gary Numan

6:04am: Shabadabbadingdong
Dang, its 5:35 am, and I was about to pass out at around 2 am. Was a long day at work, but fruitful. Nonetheless I am dreading this week. No real reason, but I am skipping class tomorrow and that is just mighty sad.

Parents are coming in this Saturday for my aunt's birthday/chance to see their sons, and that will be interesting. It'll at least give me a valid excuse for why I am not fun and exciting. I will be hanging out with my parents. Otherwise I would probably be sitting at home on the computer, not really reading or doing anything or accomplishing much. Which has been the trend as of late. Waiting on some sunny weather to cheer me up and until then I'll pretend that is why I'm wasting my time right now. Feeling in general absurdly cruddy, and I always seem to around this time of year. I apologize for any unpleasantness you experience while with me.



I never actually finished the Sushizenusa.com website, and they never paid me for hosting...soooo I'm going to use it for myself.

Cursive - The Recluse (Elgin loves this one)
My ego's like my stomach,
it keeps shitting what I feed it.

Point Juncture, WA - Chlorine
Stars of Track and Field - With You
Viva Voce - Business Casual (not sure where this one came along)
The Paper Chase - We Know Where You Sleep (might be the hardest listen of this selection for most people)

andddddd thanks sushizenusa.com for your high speed hosting.

Not sure why I posted this, but its now 6:06 am so it filled up some time, and I got to upload my shitty music tastes for some person to fill their ears with, perhaps.

1:47am: Michigan Fun
I suppose I'll fill people in on my less than grand vacation to date.

Stage one of my vacation involved an 11 hour drive up to Philly. My dad was there for work and offered me to stay at his hotel while I was there. I spent a full two days there just walking around the city. I visited the Liberty Bell(not really that impressive...was small), a Darwin Exhibit in the natural science museum there, and then some other museums dedicated just to Philly. The real fun was just walking miles around, often circling, but getting a good feel for the city itself. At night I would go out and grab some food with my Dad, then we'd head to a bar. All in all, quite nice.

Stage two was rather uneventful. I went to my friend Jill's house in Pittsburgh. I hadn't seen her in about a year and a half and this made me feel fairly guilty. I had only called her about three days prior to inform her I was barging in. She gladly let me, and I gladly made the drive(it was on my way back to Michigan after all). She took me out to dinner that night, although I insisted on paying for my share since I had originally planned to take her out. I got to get acquainted with her fiance, and overall it was enjoyable. I did very very little while there, and left the next afternoon, but I am glad I made the trip. I feel like I need to start keeping in touch with my friends, especially since once SCAD is over, it's going to be difficult to do.

Not sure if it's a stage, but I went back home, and basically have been going out every night or two to have a few drinks with some friends, occasionally going to "parties" where I really knew I was back home in Michigan. The weather is cold, the sky is gray, and it's easy to get depressed here. I am glad that I still enjoy spending time with my friends though.

I up north this past week to see my grandparents. I hadn't seen them in roughly two years and dreaded the trip. This isn't a slight towards them, I love seeing them, it is just that the place they live in is a depressing area of the world, and my alcoholic uncle stays there with them. Also, I have nothing to do other than read there, which is nice except I have no other choice really. First day went by smoothly, they all seemed to be slightly less crazy than last time I'd seen them, and my uncle was actually almost sober. My parents and I went out to a bar for a drink later that night and had a good time just bullshitting about whatever. The next day pretty much was the rest of our trip. My uncle was raging drunk and annoying as fuck. He then went to insulting my grandpa, grandma, and mother for the next two days. At one point my dad grabbed him by the arm turned him around and basically told him to shut the fuck up. He then went downstairs and complained about how my dad was trying to choke him(which I wish he had) and then threw up the insult he was going to kill us. We let it slide and the next day I even put a cable box in his room hoping he'd sit down there and watch movies all day. Unfortunately, he was too drunk to figure out how to use the remote even after we told him literally 50 times. This of course angered him so he wouldn't stop talking. I went down there and told him to shut the fuck up and I was taking the cable box out. Before I got to do so, my dad came down and said the same thing but much much louder and angrier, but he also forgave him faster and let it sit down there. Blah blah, night goes on, he insults too many people so I basically just tear him a new asshole. He goes on to cry(and I do mean cry) while sobbing out, "You don't know me. I'm not scared of no one. You don't know my life." I of course don't care and keep telling him how much he sucks as he goes downstairs crying. All the while my grandma is thanking me. I then give her advice, which I know she won't take, but she thanks me for it anyhow.

Not that important but we then went and saw Eragon, which sucked royal anus.

Next morning we left, my uncle forgot everything and was congenial. I'm sure he'd only had two beers by the time we left (7am) and was holding up okay. I gave up on saying anything to him, told my grandparents I loved them and said good bye to everyone. I honestly hope my uncle gets thrown in jail, or kills himself. I don't consider myself a bad person for this, he just ruins other people's lives and I'm afraid he'll kill someone, and deserves jail if not death.

Long drive home, read some more Vonnegut, slept, back in Sterling Heights. Suck

Dang that's a long one. Too bad it really isn't exciting!

Lisa Germano - From a Shell
Feeder - Pushing the Senses

6:37am: Grades
Dang Straight B's. Think I had an 88 percent in everyone of my classes.

4:44am: A Thousand Times Yes - Yes Michigan.

Sometimes I feel homesick for no real reason. Tonight I went out with Israel and my professor Duff to drink and eat, and had a pretty damned good time. Duff is a very respectable person and seems to do a lot with his time. I usually fall short for projects in his class and feel bad. He also just seems to have his shit together and makes me feel like a bum (which is probably a good thing). I feel busy even though I'm still wasting so much time, and it makes me wish I was back home with less responsibility and I could devote 4+ hours of my usual 20 waking hours to reading and enjoying the simple pleasure of wasting time guilt free.

It's also somewhat depressing to know that he is no better off than myself in his love life persuits. Just divorced this year, and from what I can tell really looking for female companionship, he seems to be in a better state than I view myself in 10 years. If someone I respect so much doesn't have that right, what hope do I have?

Poo to pessimism though. I may have trouble with girls, and not really be close to many people, but I'm healthy, and fairly happy. Complaining would just be whining, and emo kids whine.

I don't wanna be emo.

4:06am: New Computar
So, second powers supply finally came in today (third if you count the one that came with the case I bought). I was getting ready to leave to go get a new id, read some at gallery, and then do homework at monty, but decided I could get this computer that I've been attempting to build for basically two weeks now. Hooked it all up super fast, it didn't work and I left incredibly pissed off. After class I got home and was bored so I dicked around and tore it all apart and put it back together, and magically it worked. No idea why, but it does.

Within an hour of having windows installed I've gotten a virus and some spyware. Pretty sad. Also this has been my filler for doing any homework which is no good.

New computer hooray! No music to post, but if I had any it would most likely be my usual depressing tunes.

Instead I will leave you with the super lame site I had to make for my web class today. Zi Zoo. It's hilariously bad

6:28am: New semester is starting with a bang. Saturday night was the final send off to my friend/coworker Casey, and I got miserably trashed. I was in rare form, and I was feeling it throughout the day. Fortunately I'm not an angry drunk and the night was good. Unfortunately, it made me get too much sleep becuase I was unable to get the fuck up this morning.

When you're up this late though, you have little else to do other than read or surf the internet. I inexplicably cannot read in Savannah, so it has lead me to surfing. In conclusion, I love Itunes. Israel had been talking about the essential mixes they put out, and they really are sweet. Went back through some of their late 90's selection, as well as some Indie music, and it was a good mix. Also makes me regret not having all of my past favorite songs, and made me feel old knowing how long ago some of these songs were in my life. Very few things can make you feel nostalgic like music.

Nothing really to say, just killing time.

Double music post Mountain Goats - This Year
TV On the Radio - Staring at the Sun

Booyakasha

7:31am: It's 7:30 AM and I wish I want to make graffiti stencils.

4:23am: Dang, livejournal just feels like a place for me to post negative thoughts about people/life. Then I wonder why I even care to think about doing so. I wonder if I'll ever be at a point in my life where I just simply wish for happiness in others' lives, regardless of how insincere it seems to me. Just need to turn the brain off and stop going, "Wow, that is a load of bullshit," and just simply enjoy myself. New semesters unfortunately always seem to mean a new life with me. Hopefully I will do a better job at maintaining my good friends this semester/year, while making new ones. Usually works out that I make new ones and lose close contact with the ones that I need to talk to.

The more I rely on drinking to enjoy myself the more I am disappointed with myself. Motherfuckin' art school and we need an aid to our social life.

I wish I had some happy go lucky music that I felt warranted posting in this. I had previously shared my livejournal music with my mother, whom usually likes my music tastes. In layman's terms she said, "WTF, your music is depressing," I just looked stunned and said, "Rearry," but actually it was "Really" and not in a bad Japanese Engrish accent.

Brand New - The Quiet Things that No One Ever Sees is what came up. Not really all that happy. It was a tie between that and the track "Okay I Will Believe You, but My Tommy Gun Won't." Both not really that happy. Then I thought about some other more upbeat songs, and realized that they still weren't upbeat enough to classify as anything short of depressing. Sadly the best I could eventually get was Guster - Happier. Not really happy at all, but the name fooled me for a few seconds, and I bobbed my head to the beat until I remembered the real song.

I'll need to start listening to Aaron Carter with Yukiko.

9:39pm: Hellhole
For the amount of time I spend in my room, you would think I would want to be able to walk through it.

First day of school.....boring class that should be easy. I'm sure I'll get bored and half(or maybe less)-ass the work. Tomorrow's class should be way better. Then work, then back to my room!

American Analog Set - These Days (Amanset Keystroke Mix)

4:00pm: Back in Savannah.
Many things of note have happened recently. Drove back to Michigan about 3 weeks ago, then went to Lollapalooza in Chicago the next night. Toronto the next weekend with my family. Saw the Lord of the Rings stage production, went to China town, and drank with my parents. Spent lots of time back in Michigan reading because it turns out all of my friends are really just acquaintances now. Broke up with my girlfriend somewhere in the mix, and then we got a cat currently named Atreyu Cletus Rufus, or something.

My computer is now blue screening if I play games, or if it's on for any extended period of time. Don't know if that means my processor is burning away inside my case or what the deal is, but it stinks. This is only noteworthy because I really don't have anything else to do with my free time so my computer being out of commission is suckity sucky. At least it is helping me devote time to organizing my room


Back to work since I worked my first double today. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I'm making a lot of money. Oh, and I still can't sleep for shit.

Chemical Brothers - Close Your Eyes

2:29am: 6hours a day x 3 nights a week x 2 weeks x minimum wage (5.15/hr) = 185.4 dollars.
(the bear minimum I could have worked pretending I show up at 4:30 but they count it as 5, then pretending I end at exactly 11 when we stop serving. I also am pretending I worked 3 nights a week only. This is the least I could imagine them paying, while giving them incredible leeway.)

7.5 hours a day x 3.5 nights a week x 2 weeks x minimum wage (5.15/hr) = 270.375
(Almost Exactly what I worked. This is at minimum wage precisely. I also might have worked another day in there, but I'm still giving my employers' the benefit of the doubt.)

My Last two and only paychecks were 136 dollars. They both came late. They also cover half a month. Not 2 weeks. So they should be more than the 270.

Tonight I opened by myself at 4, which involves scrubbing the entire store down. My tips ended around 10:50. My shift ended at 11. I was on the floor serving until 11:30 and stuck doing side jobs until 12:40. I made 45 dollars. 45/8.5 = 5.294. Awesome. Glad waiting is making me such bank.

I think I will be quitting Sushi Zen soon, and either going home, or trying to find another job. GG

At least I have next Sunday Monday and Tuesday off, and will get to visit my girlfriend who finally will be home from Asia.

4:12am: Well work is cool except they keep underpaying me. I opened at 5:30 meaning I started at 5. I only got 40 bucks from 5 until 11. Everyone else got 70 from 7 until 11. So that makes 70/4 for them and 40/6 for me. Not to mention half those customers came in before 7 and were just me. Whateve lameness I am used to. I miss my girlfriend. I am upset that my job is just barely over minimum wage. If at all. I enjoyed hanging out with Courtney Robinson tonight. I am looking forward to cashing my paycheck. Israel didn't pay rent for the month to come. I turned off A/C for the night andjsut got home. It is hot as hell. Sean isn't coming back this summer. I have to pay Yukiko/sean/dustin's cable bill myself. I can't wait to go to north carolina next weekend, even if it costs me 80 bucks in gas. Otherwise things are grand.

Overall, I am happy, even if underpaid. (my work told me I was at 60% tips. I am at 50%. 55% when I work 3/2 the hours of my coworkers and make 66% of the tips for the hours I work.) They didn't inform me I was opening myself, and 5:30 until 6:30 were our busiest hours of the night. I did 12 tickets in that time frame. If they each left a 3 dollar tip (on their average 50 dollar bills) I would have gotten 36 dollars alone. (10 dollars would have been 20%.) So basically my racist japanese employers are short changing me nightly. They told me I was at 60% yet give me 50%. Then they overwork my hours and don't give me my paycheck.GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD FUCKING GAME.


I'm glad I'm not informing my parents of this. They would call me a dumbass (which I am). I should A. (be at home working and earning more while spending less). or B. (just have gone to fucking asia out of my pocket to be with my girlfriend, and actually enjoyed my break).


P.s. I am drunk.

P.s.s. My work is paying me less than minimum wage.

P.s.s.s. I am lonely.

P.s.s.s.s. I should've gone home for summer and enjoyed myself to the extreme playing disc golf and making more money than I currently am while spending less. No one wants to admit their parens are right.


P.ssssssssssssss I am drunk. Drizunk if i want to get gangster. I hope my drunken typing isn't too bad.

3:47am: Pretty cruddy weekend I guess.

Got hit by a truck riding back from class on my bike on Thursday. Go home and I had left my lights on Wednesday while at work so my battery was, and still is dead. I have been busy with work, which is what I'd love to say is my excuse for my finals coming along poorly. Unfortunately, I've just been unable to think of a worthwhile idea and have not gotten shit done. Other stuff too, but pretty much poop. Hope we at least get the house Israel, Ray, and myself are planning to move in to.

The White Stripes - Jolene Started listening to the White Stripes again, and enjoy this one. Even though I particularly hate the fact the song is "Jolene".

6:29pm: Next Fall
Here's my schedule for next fall!

M/W 5:00-7:30 Interactive Web Design (Burge)
T/R 11:00-1:30 Time Based Typography I (Wook Yong [Duff])
MTWRF (Online) Survey Of Art History II (TBA)

Yay!

On another note, my philosophy teacher kept saying "Ub3r" in class today, and I thought it was pretty funny.

Other note, life is going great. Awesome Girlfriend! Awesome Friends! Awesome Classes! Awesome Job!?? Sucky cough that I've had for a week and a half, but can't all be perfect.

Ima Robot - What We Are Made From

12:04pm: Well, it's noon Sunday and I wish I was still lying in bed next to someone, but I must really get to the homeworkin'. So much work and not enough drive to do it. All good though, it'll get done.

It's not that I am not enjoying my classes/projects, it's just that I've been having way too good of a time lately. I've been spending all of my time with Nikki and have been loving every bit of it. I have no doubt that the next month will be a very enjoyable one...I just have to get some work done in the mix.

Jump, Little Children - Come Around

6:59pm: Israel and I just killed a rat like an hour ago. We trapped it under a garbage can lid, and then pretty much couldn't figure out what to do. Whatever we tried just ended up letting it loose. Israel was clever and put a trap under the lid. SMACK! We think it died instantly...it wasn't squealing.

I only say rat because we did have a larger one in here before that qualified as a rat. This one was small and cute, and I feel bad saying I killed a small cute mouse.

That is all.